24 April 2012

Dear Scrobble...

mr. fox & sock monkey eagerly await the arrival of bebe b.

...where are you my love? we're now two days past the day you were due* to come meet us.

mama thought you might have been beginning to make your journey to us this morning. i woke at 5am to interesting pains in all the right places, they kept me awake [and reconsidering my natural birth plan] for a few hours. i was nervous but excited!! but a few hours later you went all quiet again. you settled back down and carried on with your busy, wriggling day as normal.

oh well. papa and i are happy to wait for you. you do seem pretty happy in my belly and we know you'll be worth the wait.

just get here safe and sound, we have two little cuddlies waiting to meet you! they're sat in your bed keeping it warm and safe from naughty little kitties. sock monkey and mr. fox have asked me to tell you they're very excited to meet you too.

we can't wait to play. all of us.

p.s your papa tells me he can't wait to see your squidgy little face and i cannot wait to see his face when you arrive. you guys make my heart melt.


*please don't be quite as tardy as your mama was....i made nana p wait three extra weeks for me. that's 10 whole months of pregnancy :-/ woops. naughty mama..

22 April 2012

Due date

I know due dates come and go, and it seems mine is no exception. Today is our little bebe's due date and so far, bebe b is still tucked up all cosy inside my body. Who knows when that will change, or how quickly, but needless to say, papa bear and I are very excited and more than ready to meet and greet you.

I don't quite know what to expect so I understand any hesitation on scrobble's part. We promise to look after you though bebe; no need to worry about that.

I wonder how long it will be before i'm posting a picture of your little face on here......

We're ready for you sweetie.


18 April 2012

what mama & papa did before bebe b - part I

photo courtesy of my girl hazel at thinkfoto. taken at 33 weeks pregnant.

a little over a year ago my boy and i lost one of our best friends [read more about that here]. his name [one of many] was bigdog.

he was a cat.

the most superlative, beast of a creature you've ever seen. he had the build of a black bear and the heart of an angel. he was our boy and we loved him dearly. his death was sudden and tragic - his departure was unexpected and terribly painful to us.

bigdog had been with me for a long time before he became part of our family. i'd been best friends with him since the tender age of 14. half my life. so when i lost him i really felt like i'd lost a part of myself. i was totally bereaved and i felt like i'd had a part of my heart had been cut from me and tossed in the ground. or the chest freezer - but that's another part of the story. one we wont go into here...

it took me a long time to heal from this loss and to begin to feel whole again. and back in june i decided to convert some of that emotional pain into physical pain. by getting a tattoo that nodded towards my unending love towards this animal. the permanence of which a symbol for my love and pain at his passing.

no. i didn't do a Miami or LA Ink and get a cat tattoo!

this tattoo was planned. i had been planning on getting a new tattoo to cover an old, tired tattoo for many, many years. but i'd struggled for an age to settle on the subject matter and style. i just wasn't inspired enough by anything to actually go for it. until bigdog went away. then i had a reason to do this. by turning my emotional pain into a transient, physical pain i [unintentionally] helped myself heal. the pain literally bled out of me and as soon as the appointment was over i started to move on.

the tattoo you see in the image above is my new tattoo. each element of the tattoo has a different significance but it all comes together as my ode to my husband, our marriage and our love for, and memories of, our favourite furry boy.

the tattoo isn't actually finished. i wimped out after 3 hours of outline and shading... i left the appointment feeling positive about coming back in a little over two months to have the tattoo finished. BUT, someone else had plans and a matter of weeks before i was due to go back to the tattooist and have it completed, i found out i was going to have a baby!!!

now, hopefully common sense tells you that it's not the best idea to have a tattoo whilst pregnant. this meant postponing the completion of the tattoo for at least 9 months. at that time i had no clue what effect pregnancy would have on my physically, or even if the tattoo would survive the barrage of stretching and pulling on my skin. or if i'd even ever be able to have it finished!

thankfully i can say that there hasn't been any changes in that department so when i do go back for it filling in it should still be in pretty good nick..

the only difference being that i'll have a baby. with me. out of my body and here in this world. our little child, the one that is about to become a person separate to myself. and you know what, if you've seen my pinterest pages, you'll have got the sense that one tattoo isn't going to be enough for me - it's clear to me that there will be a scrobble addition in ink to my person. eventually.


if anyone is interested, my tattoo was done by the talented dave @ black crown tattoo in leeds. if you're tempted by some ink. get in touch with him - he's a pretty popular guy though so booking in advance will be required. man's got a waiting list and you better get in line cos i'm going back there as soon as i can!!


teaching bebe to be a good person #1

People of the world can be so disappointing.

Sounds pessimistic doesn't it? I'm well aware of how down beat that sounds and I'm not one for negativity, least of all imparting that feeling onto my child-to-be. But as you may have seen from my earlier posts -  the things they dont tell you about pregnancy part I and  part II, I've been pretty disappointed with the complete lack of consideration that the public emit in the direction of pregnant women.

I'm not talking a general lack of chivalrous behavior from a gentleman, or unfounded expectations of having doors held open for me and coats thrown over puddles for me to step over. I realise I'm only pregnant & I don't need special treatment - as such - but a little bit of common courtesy wouldn't go amiss. So those who 'barge past', 'walk into' & 'cut up' really blummin well annoy me. They could be excused for having not realised, esp when I complained about this earlier in my pregnancy. However, with 5 days* left to my due date, my bebe bump is no longer inconspicuous. SEE PICTURE ABOVE**

It's pretty damn noticeable PLUS the amount of people that LOOK at your bump, then decide you're moving too slow to le.

Just to have enough manners to not walk, with shopping bags in hand, right into your stomach is would be a start...

The point of this moan though is that this experience has made me realize how ignorant the world is and I don't just mean towards pregnant woman. I've noticed this time & time again for all kinds of people; elderly, disabled, families with prams or small children. The list probably goes on.

It's made me so much more concious of my surroundings and as a result I'm deliberately making an effort to be more polite & considerate and it is THIS information I want to pass onto to Scrobble***.

So, my dearest child, you'll probably get fed up to the back teeth of your mama getting at you about being aware of your surroundings and to be courteous - at all times, to ALL people. But it's an important lesson, one that will make you a nicer, happier and more deserving person. I apologise now bebe-child if mama bangs on about this to you too much!

* F.I.V.E D.A.Y.S - what the?
**How could you not see THAT coming at you!? I ask you.
***Another learning from this experience is that I should probably stay well AWAY from shopping malls whilst pregnant. I cannot be trusted not to lash out with my tongue or fists in my current state.

15 April 2012

im your biggest fan

with only 8 days left till my due date* i thought i ought to come good on my promise to scrobble and write his/her very first note. it's a short and sweet note to my bebe - one of many more to come. i plan on saving up all my notes to give to scrobble when he/she is older. i'm keeping what's inside to myself until i pass these onto scrobble but the sentiment on the front of the card should give you a general idea of the kind of words that will sit inside this notecard, unread, for many years.

i was actually lucky enough to win this card on the 'lucky friday' giveaway from hello lucky - the awesome letterpress studio, founded by Sabrina and Eunice in the US. i've long been a fan of their work and have ordered a few bits [like this fabulous book & this terribly cute onesie for the birth of my friend's daughter] from their site previously. they have a branch based in the uk thankfully [the US is so far away...] and i have to say, the service i received was pretty-damn-awesome so i was as pleased as punch to win one of their giveaways. i think it may be one of the very few things i've ever won!

scrobble - i really hope you will like your card and note from mama b. i canny wait to give it to you.


*i have long predicted [hoped] that scrobble will be born before the estimated due date [22nd april]. we had a mini sweepstake between myself and MB's parents and my guess was for bebe to be born tomorrow [15th]. that's looking increasingly unlikely now as we're one minute into this day and there isn't a great deal going on in the labour department. that said things have started to change; a sudden increase in boob-age for one, along with many a twinge, tweak and moan [mostly from my husband due to my ever increasing bad-mood. sorry honey!] so you never know! bebe may be making its journey into this world.

then again, maybe not. BUT i have been pretty sharp on my bebe gender predictions in the past and my husband always accuses me of making it up as i never SAY IT OUT LOUD. least, not whilst he's listening! ;)

so, i am saying it now. i think this bebe will come before the 22nd april.

if i'm wrong. i'm wrong. s'all good.

we'll see.

13 April 2012

days out

today i was lucky enough to get out for a trip up to leeds to meet one of my best girls, gemma, and her little crew. we took a trip around canal gardens/tropical world at roundhay park, leeds. canal gardens is age old establishment around the leeds area with some very pretty landscaped gardens to wander around [complete with mini canal - obvs] and on the inside a pretty awesome display of tropical animals; butterflys, exotic birds, reptiles, fish and more! turns out this place is a great place to take the kiddies - not only because of the great animals on display but it is FREE for kiddies under 5 and pretty cheap for adults too, at around three or four quid.

i took some snaps as we went round the tropical world animal display...

gemma's weenies are too cute at the best of times and today was no different with her little boy, marley, racing around each tank searching for the animal or creepy crawly inside. little honey was never far behind and just as interested in all the fabulous animals on display.

i was lucky enough to have a butterfly come to say 'hi' for long enough for me to get a snap or two of the little thing resting on my arm. i also had a duck fly right at my face but that was a slightly less pleasurable experience and i certainly didn't have time to take a picture - i was too busy ducking [ha] and screaming like the wuss that i am.

i'm sure everyone would agree that gemma has two beautiful children who are a delight to be around and it is testament to her and her hubby, clarke, that their kiddies are so lovely. just like their mama and papa!

we love them very much here in this household and we can't wait to join the parenting adventure ride with them very VERY soon.

much love to you gem and thanks for a lovely day! :))


12 April 2012

countdown to the big day..

my maternity leave is whizzing by in a blur. i started this 6 week break slow and sluggish. now i'm finding i'm trying to grab onto time with both hands in an attempt to slow it down as it flies past me and heads straight into parenthood and the future. i now have 10 days left till my due date. TEN FREAKING DAYS.

i'm split in two emotionally about this. i am beyond excited to meet our bebe, my body couldn't be any more ready to deliver this child and both myself and my husband are truly thrilled about meeting our child.


how did we get here so quickly? how is my list of 'things to do before bebe gets here' not even close to completion? how am i going to cope and what the hell am i going to do with a baby. i mean, one that's not in my belly and is here, now. and needs me. all the time.

in all honesty i'm probably not as anxious as i make out. the excitement at the thought of meeting Scrobble and starting the next chapter of our lives really does thrill me. and in a sick and sadistic way, i'm looking forward to the birth. or more so having my torso back, being able to keep my dinner down and not feeling like i want to chop both my legs off as soon as i lay down to sleep.

there's no denying the latter stages of the third trimester have been challenging. if i had shares in Rennie and Gaviscon i'd have bumped up the value of them ten-fold by now. They must make a good portion of their profits from pregnant women!!

eating, once a true joy of mine, has now become a terrifying chore - something i'd rather avoid altogether now that my stomach literally sits in my mouth. as for the other big love of my life.... SLEEP....well that's gone too. earlier and earlier i rise. more and more night-time trips to the toilet do i take. sleeping is also something i've come to try and avoid. and if you know me, you'll know how big a statement that actually is!!

having said all of that though, none of this has broken my spirit. i've tried to take it all in my stride and accept it as part of the journey. it's not all sweetness and light - creating and carrying a baby for 9 months is one heck of a tough job - but it's so rewarding. it's an experience and an honour to be able to do this, to keep our little one safe and well until he or she is ready to come and meet us. and as they say, is something worth doing if it's too easy..?

all i know is this baby and i have worked hard for the last 9 months, we're both ready [just about] for the next stage of our lives together and it is JUST around the corner.

holy moly.

4 April 2012

cherished memories

photo courtesy of thinkfoto.dk

i am a lucky. lucky girl.

i have a super beautiful and terribly talented friend who just keeps on populating our photo album with more and more amazing photos. 

my dearest friend, Hazel, popped over to see me a couple of weeks ago whilst she was on a very busy trip to the UK. Hazel lives and works in Denmark but managed to fit in a whistle-stop-visit to Whiston to catch up with me [after what feels like an age apart - i haven't seen her since last may!], come say 'hi' to my Scrobble-belly for the first time and to take some bloody incredible shots of my bebe-belly.

it was lovely as ever to catch up with her and always so sad to have to say goodbye. we never seem to have long enough together. 

unsurprisingly i am blown away by the beautiful shots she's produced for our memory banks. AGAIN -Hazel and her partner in crime, Martin, are the creative force behind thinkfoto, and they took our amazing wedding photos too!

we're very lucky to have such wonderful friends and we're so so grateful to them for every pixel they've ever created for us. we are so blessed to have our favourite memories captured forever in such a stunning way.

you can check out more of the photos HERE.


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